Orthodox Burnout

A new blog/newsletter to me as of today is Ghost Drive America, which belongs to Edwin Robinson.¹ Robinson writes about burnout six years after becoming Orthodox as part of a ROCOR church.

I haven’t been Orthodox quite as long as Robinson, but nevertheless, I identified with almost all his points. One in particular was his belief that his conversion would eventually draw in his family.

I thought Orthodoxy would lead to some dramatic transformation in my environment, that those around me would be drawn to it. That didn’t happen. Now, some of that is certainly a failure on my part to actually live up to the ideals of it, which is pretty normal. But in five years, I’ve made absolutely no progress in getting my wife, children, or other family members to care at all or give it even the most cursory consideration. I have noticed that this is extremely common - for married couples with children, it’s almost always the husband who expresses interest in Orthodoxy, and the rest of the family either immediately converts with him, or simply does not care. This often leads to tension, and eventually, family breakup or divorce. I’ve known only one or two cases out of many where the wife who didn’t convert with her husband/kids, later converted. I know more cases which ended in divorce.

My wife grew up Catholic, and doesn’t have particularly warm feelings about many of the aspects of her experience. For that reason, the difficulty of getting into the liturgy until you are experienced in it and some sensory issues around the incense, she has never expressed much interest in Eastern Orthodoxy. I’ve frankly been surprised at how little importance the Orthodox people I know place on my wife and I being united in our faith practices. Of course, almost all the people who told me that my wife and family joining me in worship was not that important were people whose whole families are Orthodox. When I spoke with an Anglican priest about this, he too was surprised. He had just finished reading St. John Chrysostoam’s writings on the importance of marriage and given the honor the Orthodox Church gives to this saint, it seems inconsistent.

1. I refuse to use the phrase “a Substack.” That’s only the platform that hosts the blog. No one says “so and so started a Ghost” just because someone chooses that service. ↩︎